The Air Between Us

The Air Between Us

Carrie Edwards 10/31/19

I look at the mountains, I see nothing

Nothing but beauty, and God’s creation

I wonder how much more

How much more beauty is on this land

From where I am to you

Days go by, my missing you shows

It’s all over my face and my attitude

I draw, to ease my emotions

Thinking you could somehow see it

Even if you never do

The days seem longer and harsher

As the rain falls, a storm ragged within

Misunderstanding my emotions leads to pain

The depression deepens with a strong hold

It takes complete control of even my soul

But in the midst I found you

Somehow, your love rings through

It breaks up the clouds and storm

No matter how far away you are

As the rain slows so does my heart rate

Calming me to a place of self control

I feel like I can accomplish more

By your side, I can accomplish anything

Many days led to my return

Crossing over miles and miles of land

Piercing all the clouds along the way

Viewing the mountains in all their grandness

Lakes and rivers look so small

Bringing feelings of overwhelming clarity

Finally, my arrival hits the ground hard

My emotions burst out of a sleepy journey

Stretching far and wide to find comfort

The comfort comes when I realize I’m home

Heart racing, head spinning, eyes swelling

It’s like a bittersweet pill I swallowed

All the usual symptoms

I stand from the safeness of my familiar seat

I exhume my bag, buried in the overhead bin

Step after step, breath after breath

Heartbeat after heartbeat

Your face is all I see

I can barely think

Where did all the air go?

Why can’t I breathe

I shake with excitement

As I step on to the bridge walk

I race to think of what I will say

Of what will happen

A smile breaks my resting face

I look down, trying to hide it

I step out of the bridge into the openness

Exit, where is the exit?!

I struggle to catch my breath still

Agonizing over the long walk, and wait

Impatiently I rush my aching feet

I try to calm my racing heart to breathe

Another long bridge and many directions

And then it hits me, it hits me hard and fast

I feel your presence closing in

I knew that this was the right way now

And I look up to see families reuniting

Hugs so long they could be a painting

This was it, I couldn’t contain my glow

As I see your outline in the far distance

I knew, without a doubt, it was you

I hide my face with my hands

Forcing my smile to lessen

Shyness has always been a flaw of mine

Apparently It was too much to hide

But I wasn’t afraid of it this time

I uncover the greatest smile ever felt

My eyes meet yours so I run

I run to hide behind the wall

That silly shyness, you must be laughing

But I knew you would still be there

I emerge to see your amazing smile

And just as easy as before I left

We embrace with a hug so fulfilling

Minutes go by, I hear awe from a passerby

Embarrassing as it was, I didn’t want to let go

The minutes feel more like hours

I contain my tears, I just wanted my smile to show

After all, that’s what you deserve

My mind can’t think but one thought

I’m beloved, I never felt it more than now

There is no love for me greater than my creator

But if there was anything so close, it’s yours

I wanted you to know you were loved too

I just don’t know how to

I try, but fail over and over

So I just hold on, feeling your grasp

I know you don’t want to let go either

Finally, it falls apart, our amazing embrace ends

Maybe because I wanted to see your face

Maybe because you wanted to see mine

Maybe because I was embarrassed

Or maybe just because it can never last

Whatever it was, I was glad

Because something like this will in fact last,

However dim, in my mind, forever and always

Because I love you, and I want you to know

I will never let this feeling go.

But this place, so unavoidably hated and feared

A place no one longs for, a place anger lives

Yet, a place where so much love is seen

A kind of love hardly seen elsewhere

A place blessed with fierce love, divinely so

Meetings, reunitement filled with warmth

Filled with happiness

The kind of happiness we all need

A kind forever sought, but never found

Until this place

Love fills this place – however impossible it seems

I am here, you are here, we are here

God is here, love is here,

Hate, curiously, has a place where love is

Or maybe we have flooded this place with hate

Forgetting what it is all about

Creating greed-filled air within a time of need

But this love I feel, overflowed so much so

So much that the anger and hate changed.

Which leads to one more thing, I end with this

With one thought, I leave you with a reason

The reason hate spread so much in this place

A place that should be held in higher regard

Hate-in-love, simply, hating so much

Loving to hate – creating an atmosphere

One of so much emotions that challenge love

A place we, as a race, created from love

But this day, the day of all days in my mind

Proved to me how love is more than anything else

I felt it, I looked straight into its eyes, your eyes

Nothing will ever again make me question it

Not in darkness or across a hundred miles

Because it is strong, which means we are strong

Nothing can come between love, nothing

It cannot be taken, changed, overlooked.

Love is.

For my always amazing and caring husband, RJ

Written by: Carrie Lee

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